Published by University of Nebraska Press September 2022

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  • Winner of the 2023 Chicago Writers Association Book of the Year
  • Finalist in the 2023 Great Lakes Independent Booksellers Award
  • 2022 Foreword INDIES Silver Award Winner for Autobiography & Memoir

“Christman’s writing is moving and poetic, and she has a knack for imbuing profundity into everyday activities, whether slicing an avocado or climbing a hill. Fans of the personal essay shouldn’t miss these intimate encounters.”
—Publishers Weekly, starred review

If This Were Fiction is a love story—for Jill Christman’s long-ago fiancé, who died young in a car accident; for her children; for her husband, Mark; and ultimately, for herself. In this collection, Christman takes on the wide range of situations and landscapes she encountered on her journey from wild child through wounded teen to mother, teacher, writer, and wife. In these pages there are fatal accidents and miraculous births; a grief pilgrimage that takes Christman to jungles, volcanoes, and caves in Central America; and meditations on everything from sexual trauma and the more benign accidents of childhood to gun violence, indoor cycling, unlikely romance, and even a ghost or two. Playing like a lively mixtape in both subject and style, If This Were Fiction focuses an open-hearted, frequently funny, clear-eyed feminist lens on Christman’s first fifty years and sends out a message of love, power, and hope.

Praise for If This Were Fiction: A Love Story in Essays

“Reading these essays is like hanging out with a true friend, someone who isn’t afraid to be real. Jill Christman writes about love, loss, trauma, fear, parenthood, and the strange wonder of our past and former selves with deep understanding, humor, and so much beauty.”
—Beth (Bich Minh) Nguyen, author of Stealing Buddha’s Dinner

“If This Were Fiction is the collection I wish I had the talent and skill to write. Christman’s words shine with unusual beauty and hard-earned brilliance.”
—Ashley C. Ford, author of Somebody’s Daughter

“What is more complex than love, marriage, motherhood, and family? Probably nothing, but Jill Christman takes the deep dive, with intelligent, intense, intimate essays that will catch you off guard and leave you wanting more. If This Were Fiction is a piercing book by a brilliant, gutsy writer.”
—Dinty W. Moore, author of To Hell with It

Reviews

“Christman considers love, loss, and the art of writing in these luminous essays. . . . [Her] writing is moving and poetic, and she has a knack for imbuing profundity into everyday activities, whether slicing an avocado or climbing a hill. Fans of the personal essay shouldn’t miss these intimate encounters.”
—Publishers Weekly, Starred Review

“Eloquent and probing, Christman’s essays examine the profound ways relationships can—for better or worse—transform an individual life and provide glimpses into the complexities the human heart. A warmly wise, intimate memoir.”
—Kirkus Reviews

“If This Were Fiction: A Love Story in Essays gives you what you didn’t know you needed: sloths and loss and Swedish Fish candy, alligators and avocados and bird girls, pain and loss and hard traveling back to confront that pain, googly eyes and wayward skirts and lipsticks uncapped in purses, electric eye contact with a fetching poet across a dive bar, all woven with joy. This expertly crafted essay collection works as a memoir and clocks in at a slim 205 pages, but it feels like water, like each sentence is a tumbled and smoothed river stone.”
—Brevity (reviewed by Sonya Huber)

“With humor born of self-awareness, Christman’s book asks how we can bear to love in such a dangerous world. . . . If This Were Fiction is a book for survivors and parents and writers. After I finished, I found myself returning with highlighters. I wanted to take her creation apart the way a mechanic dissembles a motor or a carpenter assesses a cabinet.”
—Barrelhouse (reviewed by Brianna Avenia-Tapper)

“Perhaps the googly eyes already tipped you off, but despite Christman’s experiences with trauma and grief, plenty of joy, wonder, and hilarious humiliation abound. . . . If This Were Fiction sits on my desk as I write this, its pages forever bent open from my frequent returns.”
—The Rumpus (reviewed by Brooke Champagne)